Thursday, August 2, 2007

Time For Bonds Equals Time For Rose

The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball
Allan H. (Bud) Selig, Commissioner
245 Park Avenue, 31st Floor
New York, NY 10167
(212) 931-3800

Dear Mr. Commissioner:

I was eating lunch with the wife today at a restaurant called the 810 Sports Zone. This, as you can imagine, is another one of those ESPN-type bars that are popping up all over the place. They’re busy with tons of sensory overload and a zillion televisions; we even had our own flat screen right in our booth. Nevertheless, we ate a very mediocre lunch delivered to us by a very terrible server. Luckily for us, the television, which I quickly switched from “Extreme Makeover” to SportsCenter,” was chock full of Barry Bonds coverage that was heavy under scrutiny vis-à-vis your presence at the still-yet-to-happen record-breaking game.

I thought I’d let you know that I don’t disagree with your decision to attend or not to attend each game that Bonds plays in until the record is finally tied and/or broken. I’m curious, however, if this time is affecting your ability to manage the other tasks for which a commissioner is responsible.

Like the campaign the House of Georges ( is hoping you’ll launch, and by campaign, I mean one swift blow from your authoritative fist, to ultimately put Pete Rose baseball’s Hall of Fame. You could do it in a 30-second phone call en route to see your boy Barry not hit homeruns. I can hear it now:

“Yeah, Jim (I made that name up), it’s Bud. Good. Good. You? Great. Listen. Yeah, uh, I’ve decided to un-ban Rose. Huh? Yes. Of course Pete Rose. Of course I’m referring to the Hall of Fame. Anyway, gotta go. Get that paperwork ready. See you when I get back.”

There. That’s how easy it is. We have faith that you can do it. Let’s knock out that first step. You can check it off your list and move onto more Barry Bonds-related issues.

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